I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
