She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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