He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
