whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
