Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I came so hard my ears popped.
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