i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
