ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
