You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
