I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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