Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
