I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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