Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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