So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
