real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
