Say something about gay babies.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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