she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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