So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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