porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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