He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
