hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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