She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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