Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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