i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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