i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
