I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
