thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
