Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize