My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
