i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
