I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
