Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
