I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
