Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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