That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
