It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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