do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
