Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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