In the future we'll all be gay
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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