Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
