if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
