They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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