I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
