Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
