That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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