Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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