i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
