Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize