He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
