What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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