I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
