I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
