white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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