it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
