i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
