I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
