His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize