I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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