Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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