Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
