im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize