ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you win again, gameday.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
