we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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