Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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