Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize