Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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