That's intense
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize