do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
