forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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