she woke up with a sticky ear
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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