butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
