I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
