So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
