just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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