There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
