the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
