i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
