My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My balls are so social today.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
